


Virtually Perfect

by andrea_deer



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Insecure Derek, M/M, Online Dating, Underage Drinking, chat, romcom cliches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-06 02:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrea_deer/pseuds/andrea_deer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s just one click away…</p><p>Stiles' is ready for the next step – to meet in person. He wants to make it real with Jason or jcastro88 or whatever his name actually is. Sure, he is terrified, but their virtual relationship has left him in a constantly aroused state, hungry for a taste of Jason's lips and the touch of his skin. He wants to make love – all night long – to the guy who’s captured his heart sight unseen.</p><p>Except, the meeting of notyourrobin69 and jcastro88 goes nothing like they've planned...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Virtually Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the summary of "Virtually Perfect" by Samantha Hunter. 
> 
> All chats that appear in the story happen before the actual action of the story.
> 
> Also, I am very sorry, but this was written literally on last possible minute and didn't get a beta.

notyourrobin69: why hello there, handsome stranger  
notyourrobin69: what a guy like you is doing in a place like this?  
notyourrobin69: ok, i have no idea how you're supposed to start a conversation with an unknown stranger on a dating chat  
jcastro88: Then why are you doing it?  
notyourrobin69: IT SPEAKS!  
notyourrobin69: your profile says youre from Beacon county. We're practically neighbors. And your 'about me' info sounded good  
jcastro88: It did?  
notyourrobin69: well, it sounded grumpy and sarcastic and superior to the little empty boxes that has to be filled in order to open the chat  
jcastro88: ...  
jcastro88: That's what I was going for.  
notyourrobin69: :D

\- - -

"Are you sure, man?" asked Scott frowning. "You're really going to meet him? I mean, this guy could be literally anybody..."

"Dude, we have fought off a ghoul last week. _A ghoul_. I think we're a bit past worrying about random Internet creepers, you know? At some point human evilness just starts to sound vaguely lame by comparison is all I'm saying."

Scott nodded with a grimace and turned his head to look out of the jeep's window as they drove to the dinner on the other side of town, because of sudden craving for their pancakes. Lazy, summer days brought the best reasons in Stiles' opinion. Scott let his head fall against the window and Stiles was tempted to roll it down, but he didn't want their peaceful day to get ruined by his friend getting decapitated by an ongoing truck, while letting his not-so-inner puppy take over and pant happily with his head outside the car. Stiles was pretty sure his imagination was not always that gore. Or at least the visions of those random thoughts were less detailed.

"Then again," he said, going back to the subject of his online... boyfriend? (Too clingy.) Mate? (Too werwolfy.) Jerk off buddy? (Too lame.) Soon to be shagged in real life acquaintance of romantic value? (Too long, but Stiles thoughts were quick.) "If my luck of last few years is anything to go by and Beacon Hills will live up to its secret identity of ‘the most attractive to the monsters’ town, I should probably pack some holly water. And maybe a stake."

Scott's head snapped back to his friend, eyes wide.

"Dude! Don't say stuff like that! Now he's bound to be non-human!" 

Stiles snorted and Scott punched him in the arm.

"Well, yes, killing the guy would definitely ruin our first date. Almost as much as getting killed by him."

"Well, you've been chatting with him almost all the time for _months_. I think you'd pick up on it, if he was secretly dreaming of drinking your blood or something."

"That is my hope as well, Scott. And he did not make my villain-dar go ping, so there's hope of surviving for both of us. Though I admit, I could have been distracted with the ridiculously hot cybersex."

"Dude! Ugh! Do you have to mention it every damn time?"

Stiles grinned brightly.

"You're joking right? Half of the reason I wanted to start it was so I could torture you with all the TMI."

"That is seriously disturbing. I hope your boyfriend sparkles in the sun."

Stiles punched him, much harder than Scott punched him before, taking in consideration werewolves' ridiculously thick skin and pain resistance. He clearly needed to consider it some more, because his friend only laughed at him.

\- - -

notyourrobin69: THAT  
notyourrobin69: WAS  
jcastro88: unexpected  
notyourrobin69: AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! \o/ \o/ \o/  
notyourrobin69: honestly, i didnt think itd be this good, still just my hand aftr all  
notyourrobin69: wow  
jcastro88: yeah  
notyourrobin69: i love how talkative you get after getting off  
notyourrobin69: :P  
jcastro88: you're talkative enough after getting off  
jcastro88: and before  
jcastro88: and during  
notyourrobin69: :PPP  
jcastro88: How could you even type so much during that?  
notyourrobin69: one hand typing is one of my many mad skills, grumpy, and you looooooove it:DDDDD  
jcastro88: ...  
notyourrobin69: 1) USE YOUR WORDS  
notyourrobin69: 2) we should do it again. soon.  
jcastro88: 1) ...  
jcastro88: 2) Yeah.

\- - -

Stiles' phone rang exactly an hour after his first date with Jason was supposed to start. Yes, he did talk to the guy for past five months and spent at least one of them trying to convince him that it will be good to finally meet face-to-face. 

Stiles reasoning was simple, really, if cybersex was so ridiculously hot, he really wanted to find a guy who made that happen. And maybe try to reconstruct it a bit in real life. And talk to the guy and actually hear his voice and check out what exactly is he doing in real life, when he can't just write dots, but he doesn't want to say anything or is silently judging you at the moment. And maybe, just maybe, it would feel rather good to tell people _'I'm going out for a date'_ instead of _'I will go log on now'_ or something. 

Anyway, yes, Stiles felt pretty confident that he wanted to meet Jason and spent some time with him, but he was also well aware that online and offline worlds were very different on many levels and it wouldn't hurt to be prepared to have a rescue exit prepared.

Scott started talking as soon as Stiles picked up:

"So? Do you need to pretend this is an emergency call or are you good? He's not some dirty old pervert, is he? Or a vampire?"

"I don't think those are mutually exclusive," replied Stiles, walking out of the restaurant and ignoring the pitying look from one of the waitress, who earlier watched him sip his chocolate milkshake as he was being stood up. "Jason however, as far as I know, is just a giant fucking chicken."

"Oh," said Scott softly. "I'm sorry man."

"It's fine," lied Stiles and Scott was smart enough not to call him on that.

\- - -

jcastro88: are you ok?  
notyourrobin69: yeah, why?  
notyourrobin69: also, i love how you let more and more of your perfect typing slip. welcome to the world of never typing big letters again  
jcastro88: you just seem different  
jcastro88: you dont talk as much  
notyourrobin69: and do i detect a missing apostrophe? :O  
notyourrobin69: soon it will be emots and typos all around!!!! :D  
jcastro88: Bruce.  
notyourrobin69: one step forward, two steps back  
notyourrobin69: im fine  
notyourrobin69: its just not my day, srry  
jcastro88: it's all right

jcastro88: wanna talk about it?  
notyourrobin69: awww  
notyourrobin69: you actually asked!  
jcastro88: shut up  
notyourrobin69: XD  
notyourrobin69: it's nothing, man, really  
notyourrobin69: well, it's not nothing nothing, but it's nothing that I want to talk about or that talking about would make better  
notyourrobin69: it's just, ugh, sorry for ruining the mood or whatever, it's just anniversary of someone close to me dying and im not exactly my perfect awesome chatty self  
notyourrobin69: well, i guess im still sort of chatty, i am chatting with you after all, lol XD  
notyourrobin69: im fine

jcastro88: ok  
jcastro88: wanna watch a movie, bother me with instant chatter through it and take your mind off things for a brainless two hours or so?  
notyourrobin69: YES.  
notyourrobin69: man, i knew i kept you for a reason :D  
jcastro88: :)  
notyourrobin69: OMG :OOO  
jcastro88: shut up

\- - -

"So, he just didn't show up? At all?" asked Scott watching his friend curled possessively around a bottle of whiskey.

Stiles was all about sharing, even the good stuff like Jack Daniel’s, really, but Scott couldn't get drunk anyway and it wasn't a night for wasting alcohol. The bottle wasn't even full, when Scott brought it, sneaking it from wherever to fulfill his bro responsibility.

Stiles shrugged awkwardly as he laid on the ground, making it look more like a failed attempt at crawling at his back than a shrug. Shrug-crawl, he thought and chuckled at his thoughts, making Scott frown. Stiles tried to swallow the giggles and focus on the question, he wasn't ready for his friend to call it a night and drag his drunk self away from the quiet forest, taking the bottle away.

"Not that I know of," he said finally, even though he didn't exactly plan on sharing that one bit of his thoughts. It was still a theory, a pretty decent one, though. "For all I know, he could walk in, notice that I'm the only one there in the Batman’s t-shirt and think: ‘nah, I don't like’, and leave. It's not like I know what he looks like, right?"

"Well, did you notice anyone looking at you? He would have to look around to find you first and only then decide to be a douchebag."

Stiles snorted.

"Maybe being a douchebag comes naturally to him!"

"Well, still, he'd have to look around and..."

"I don't know. I seriously tried not to jump and stare at the door every time I heard it opening! For all I know, he could walk in, stare at me and judge me silently for any stretch of time before leaving. You'd think that with all the monsters' of the week running around the town and often after me, I'd gain that level of observation skills, but noooo. All I get is regular life scares. And a scar on my ribs, which nobody really digs. Life sucks."

He thought that grand statement deserved another swallow of whiskey and he must have sounded really pitiful, because Scott hadn't disagreed with him even as Stiles had some troubles with drinking without spilling the goods.

"Maybe it wasn't that at all, you know?" Stiles gave his friend doubtful look and Scott shrugged far more gracefully than Stiles' previous attempts. He blamed it on the fact that Scott was still sitting up. "Maybe he couldn't make it."

"Or write me an email. Or drop by the chat, where I was, this whole afternoon, though I said I won't."

"Well, it's Beacon Hills," reminded him Scott. "Maybe something ate him."

Stiles would never admit that he already thought of that as well. He could doubt his thoughts, but he was sure their conversations, at least the ones about real life events, used to be way less gore. He laughed out loud, but soon regretted it as it apparently prompted Scott to take away the bottle. Stiles whined pitifully, gaining absolutely nothing.

\- - -

notyourrobin69: we should meet  
jcastro88: so you keep telling me  
notyourrobin69: ugh, youre incredibely stubborn grumpy cat  
jcastro88: dont call me that  
notyourrobin69: :P  
jcastro88: and i dont see the point  
jcastro88: i like chatting with you, i like that it's easy and we can always log off an go back to our lives  
jcastro88: it's good, it's easy  
notyourrobin69: it is  
notyourrobin69: i get it, really. if i found it easy to get and keep someone in rl i wouldnt be stalking dating chats, y know?  
notyourrobin69: but i think we're good together and itd be good to meet  
notyourrobin69: and it's not like im asking for anything more than a meeting face-to-face, but when we cyber i do think what itd be like to do it for real  
notyourrobin69: to actually touch you and taste you and smell you and walk around with the hickeys you would totally leave all over me, mr ‘i only bite during cyber cause it’s not like it’s gonna leave a mark’

jcastro88: ok  
notyourrobin69: you are impossible XDDD  
notyourrobin69: if i wasnt asking you to meet me for a month now, id tell you you're easy

\- - -

By noon the sun was far too bright and the room was toasty warm. Sweat rolled down Stiles' skin as he laid in bed with only his boxers on and covers completely kicked off the bed. With a groan he slowly got up and opened the window, deciding he might as well start his zombie-walk through the day.

He swallowed the painkillers Scott left for him in the night table and followed them with the last gulp of water left in the glass. 

By the time he came back from the shower, the small part of his brain that woke up today was fully focused on surviving until the conditions in his room were well enough to fall back asleep. Stiles slowly toweled his hair and absent mindedly opened his laptop as he sat heavily in his desk chair.

Before he managed to stop himself he was opening his inbox and staring at few notifications from various websites and forums, and one email from 'jcastro_88_@gmail.com'. No title.

He swallowed thickly and went back to the bed. The sun wasn't so bad, he could easily get more sleep and deal with everything reality might hit him with later. 

\- - -

jcastro88: how do I even recognize you?  
notyourrobin69: I will wear Batman t-shirt. duh.  
jcastro88: your obsession with batman is unhealthy  
jcastro88: you should get help  
notyourrobin69: >:P  
notyourrobin69: said a guy with a thing for American Idol singers  
jcastro88: what?  
notyourrobin69: well it's either that or you have a thing for Fidel, which is srsly disturbing and might be a deal breaker unless you're a south park fan in which case we can still negotiate  
jcastro88: ...  
notyourrobin69: stop with the judgmental dots!  
jcastro88: i clicked for random article on wiki to get a nick  
jcastro88: it was sth about some basketball player from wherever  
notyourrobin69: ... this is so emotionless  
notyourrobin69: where is the love?  
notyourrobin69: what happened to picking a nick after a favorite character, state, singer, magic pony?!  
jcastro88: ...  
jcastro88: I would never be able to pick my favorite magic pony  
notyourrobin69: (rotfl)

\- - -

When Stiles woke up again the sunlight falling into his room was much more dimmed, there was a fresh glass of water by his bed and Derek was sitting in his desk chair. Stiles flailed, yelping in surprise and glared at the werewolf who only rolled his eyes in response.

"Seriously, creepwolf, what is wrong with you? I got used to the fact that you get a kick out of startling me, whenever I least expect it, but actually watching me sleep? That's creepy, even for you, oh my god, why are you here, is anyone dying? Because if anyone is dying and you just sat there staring at me, then you're seriously losing it, man."

"Nobody's dying."

Stiles sat on his bed properly, letting his legs fall to the floor and he waited. In vain.

"Great, that is really great. But if you came all the way here to tell me that no one is dying then I hate to tell you I'm not really in the mood to hold that kind of cheerful conversations right now."

"I brought you a milkshake," Derek said in reply and nodded his head to the cup standing on Stiles night table right next to the glass of water.

Only Stiles seriously couldn't phantom in which way that was actually a reply to anything that was said or that happened or anything at all. He did suspect for a while now that Derek used some kind of special code to communicate rather than plain, old English, but he was rather betting on some eyebrows signals, not milkshakes.

"Why?" Stiles asked slowly, because while Derek's code was always more or less mysterious, the guy got very easily, very angry, when someone was missing the apparently obvious cues he was sending their way.

Derek frowned and yes, finally, there was the far more communicative eyebrow action. This was confused frown, definitely a confused frown. With a hint of annoyance. And do I detect a light note of awkwardness?

"Didn't you get my e-mail?" Derek finally translated his eyebrows and Stiles glanced at his laptop with a sinking feeling.

Logically he knew he wouldn't be able to avoid it forever, but somehow he hoped for at least few more hours. It's not like he had any schoolwork and the monsters seemed oddly quiet so there was hope for no research for a bit longer. Derek had an awful tendency of ruining his genius plans, especially when said plans involved a bit more of peace and calmness.

"No? I was sort of avoiding my inbox, because... of reasons. And since when do you send emails? Don't you usually express yourself better through those lovely, short, vaguely threatening texts of 'pack meeting at 7pm, be there'? The 'or else' part loudly implied."

"It's not a pack thing."

"Oh, okay," said Stiles fully confused now. "So what it is about?"

"About you being ridiculous moron, who joins a dating chat before his actual eighteen birthday, lies to a stranger about his age and goes to a meeting with him without so much as mentioning this to anyone."

"Woah!" protested Stiles quickly, because that was so over the line they were by now on another field. "First of all, how the hell do you know about any of this? Or rather why the hell Scott told you, because he actually knew, because despite what you clearly think I am not a total idiot, you know? And I only lied for few weeks anyway!"

"You said you were nineteen."

"Well, I lied for few weeks to the pop out box that asked me if I really am over eighteen," admitted Stiles. "And seriously, what the hell this is actually about? Because if you came to yell at me for being stupid then why the hell the milkshake? I'm not even going to protest how stupid is that you're for some reason mad at me about the whole online dating thing, especially since the guy haven't even shown up, because by now I learned to just let you growl yourself out, but seriously why the milkshake? Was the guy actually some kind of an evil monster? And you killed him and the milkshake is like an apology or something? Because, I appreciate it, dude, I really do. Actually at this point it'd be a preferred option if he was just a monster and not a douche who couldn't be bothered to tell me he doesn't want that date after all."

Stiles fell silent, watching Derek expectantly.

"Are you done?" asked the werewolf and Stiles glared at him. "The milkshake is an apology."

"Oh god he was an evil monster, wasn't he?"

Derek's eyebrows lifted and he cocked his head to the side slightly. Amusement. Stiles was getting really good at this after over two years of knowing each other. Five more and he will be an expert or something. He probably already should start writing this down. Derek's eyebrows to English vocabulary.

"I brought you a milkshake, because when we were supposed to meet yesterday I saw you in the restaurant and thought it was all some stupid joke," said Derek, probably fighting against himself to actually speak in full, lengthy sentences. The obviously embarrassed now eyebrows helped a bit. "Then I heard you talking with Scott in the forest."

Stiles breathed slowly, trying to calm himself down as his thoughts raced. He was supposed to have a date with Derek yesterday. Derek was the one who bailed on him yesterday. Derek was Jason. Derek liked Jurassic Park. And he faked broken Internet connection half way through the Batman marathon. Derek was more of a Marvel guy, shockingly enough. And he liked donuts and walnut coffee and had cybersex with Stiles few times a week for months. Oh dear god, Stiles had cybersex with Derek. He wheezed another breath in.

"You really shouldn't eavesdrop on drunk, confidential conversations like that."

"Then you really should stop having them in my forest."

Stiles rolled his eyes in response and Derek's eyebrows lifted in a clear 'what of it?' expression. The younger man ignored him in favor of the milkshake, but sudden epiphany stopped him from actually drinking it. He bit his lip, trying to keep the laughter in, but lost it when he glanced back at Derek and noticed him raising an eyebrow in question.

"The eyebrows are the dots!" he squealed. "I always wondered what you do in the real world, when you can't just use punctuation to express yourself without words and it is so obvious now!"

Derek rolled his eyes and looked away until Stiles calmed himself down and asked:

"Do you wanna watch a movie? You know, with both of us actually present in the same room?" He got up and grabbed his laptop from the desk, before sitting on his bed, leaning against the headboard. This was still very weird. His mind kept on coming up with random facts about Jason or Derek and fought to mix them both into one person. Stiles was determined to ignore it until it was done. "Though I have to warn you, I talk more during movies, when I don't have to actually type it all up."

"You will talk less, when I can actually do more than just threaten you," countered Derek, sliding his feet out of his shoes and sitting on the bed next to Stiles, their sides barely touching.

They will work on that, thought Stiles and opened his movie folder, preparing himself for the unavailable mockery. It's not like he didn't know what to expect from their movie night.

\- - -

\- - -


End file.
